So this is my not so small 4 year old little girl on her birthday on Wednesday. She is the most beautiful, kind, thoughtful, well mannered child I know.....but I am biased!

It is her party tomorrow, luckily it is at a place called Magicland, so they will do it all for us - great!

Be back soon x

Hello world!

I am back, I still exist and I cannot believe it has been 2 years since I have written on here. I have had several people recently tell me that they admire me and everything I manage to cope with so I thought I would come on and tell you about everything that has been going on in my life over the last 2 years. Boy have I got a lot to tell. Not quite sure where to start! The MS seems a good place to begin......

I have been on Tysabri for 2 and a half years now and I have been very stable during this time, I would even say I have improved and use my frame to walk a lot more, rather than the wheelchair. I discussed the possible use of LDN (low dose naltrexone) with my MS nurse and GP and looks like I could possibly try it, the ball is rolling but I do not have it yet. There are many studies saying how much LDN has helped them so all I can do is be hopeful. Fingers crossed! I have nystagmus in both eyes, which means they wobble. Trouble is one goes up and down and the other goes side to side, it can give me a bit of a headache but blinking temporarily stops it so if you see me blinking a lot you know why! My bladder seems to be the opposite of my friends with MS, it holds on to my wee for too long and I always feel like I need to go and normally don't need to. These are all little MS quirks you just end up living with.

Unfortunately I am facing another big hurdle in my life. My husband and I have separated. I am not going to go into detail but our main priority is being the best parents to our beautiful little girl. Ava turned 4 this week, where did the time go?

I was just trying to upload a pic of her but my eyes keep closing, not had a lot of sleep this week so off for a nap! Will come on later !

Em x

Baby Competition

Hi all,

I know I've been awful at keeping up with this, but it is so hard to find time with a 2 year old and working. She is at nursery tomorrow and Friday and as it is half term I am hoping to have time to update this and tell you how far I have come on Tysabri. But the reason I am writing is to ask you to vote for my girl Ava in a baby modelling competition if you think she deserves a vote!

You should be re-directed to the page to vote for Ava if you click on the title of this post 'Baby Competition'. If not the link is: http://apps.facebook.com/baby_modelcomp/entry/246475

I will post a couple of up to date photos of her.

I'll be back,

Emma

xxx

I've been swimming!

Hi all,

Just a quick post to let you know that everything is still going well and I have had my first dip in over a year in the pool. I loved it (even if I was a little cold as it was in an outdoor pool!). I will most def be continuing even if my legs have felt a little like lead for 2 days!!! Ava is now 19 months old today and walking and chattering. I am hoping to pick up more hours at work next year as this year has gone so smoothly so fingers crossed. Things are looking up!

Em x

Long time, no see......

Hello world,

Yes I am still here and I am feeling very guilty for not writing for so long. So where do I start? Well we have moved to the Bungalow - yay! We moved in at the end of October and love it here. Even though it is a down size from a 3 bed house to a 2 bed bungalow it doesn't feel like it is any smaller. We seem to have much more living space and the bedrooms are big enough. The area is great too, there is a school down the road for Ava (which I approve of!) and all the neighbours have been very welcoming. They are all retired so are always about if I need any help and EVERY week they bring our dustbin in when it has been emptied, which is a novelty in itself as in the last house, the bin was always in the middle of the pavement or our driveway and the neighbours wouldn't have thought about bringing it in for you! Enough about our kind neighbours!!!

I have been back at work for 5 months now and although I only do a day and a half, I love it! I job share the teaching of Y5 with another teacher and only work an afternoon on a Thursday and all day Friday. Ava is looked after by my mum mainly (Thanks mum) and Nathan's mum for those days so we don't pay for any child care. There would be very little point returning to work if we were paying for child care as well as it is so expensive. So we are very grateful to have such great grandparents, although if she becomes any more challenging I'm sure they'll start charging!!! She is the main reason I have not written for a while, she hates me typing and closes the laptop - little monkey!

Ava is just over 15 months now and is into everything, everything that is not hers! She walks very confidently holding on to one finger but has not yet let go and 'gone it alone'! She babbles incessantly to herself and says a few words. I am putting up a picture of her as she has changed so much since the last picture I put on here of her.

We had a different Christmas this year - we went to stay with Nathan's brother out in Bermuda. He has got a 3 year working visa out there and this amazing apartment overlooking the sea. We had a lovely time but it could have been better. The weather waan't great - it was wet and windy and we all fell ill over Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Nathan and I didn't even make it to the beach on christmas morning for champagne or to eat christmas dinner, we were so gutted!

My MS has been improving (sssh don't say it too loudly!). My walking has improved in the last 2 months and we're not sure why. I had some steroids in November to treat as small relapse (my eye was a bit shaky!) and since then I have felt stronger and done so much more walking. I am even using a frame at school when I feel up to it, not the wheelchair and considering going back to swimming. I've got to make the most of feeling good! Nathan thinks the improvement is due to the build up of Tysabri over the last 8/9 months. Whatever it is - long may it continue! I know I have probably missed things out but I am sure I will be told what. Ava is throwing a strop as I'm not paying her any attention so I will sign off here,

Em x

Moving house, driving, back to school...ALL CHANGE!

Hello all,

Yet again I am in trouble with my family and friends for not updating this. It's not so easy now Ava is a demanding diva of nearly 11 months! I find it hard to get anything done now, she just wants to play, bless her! Well, a lot has happened since I last wrote...I don't know where to start.

In a month since I last wrote we have decided to move, found a Bungalow to move to, put ours on the market selling in 5 days and are currently awaiting a moving date. When I last wrote in July we weren't even thinking of moving. My parents have offered their financial support to enable us to move to a Bungalow making life easier for all of us -big thanks to them! As soon as they had put the idea in our heads we set about hunting for a Bungalow and viewed a few before finding the perfect one. Trouble is, we were in no position to buy it...we quickly got ours on the market and it sold in 5 days, so it all worked out perfectly. We are just waiting to exchange contracts now and get a moving date. So I may be in the new place when I next write!

I eventually got around to driving my new Motability car with hand controls. It is rather scary having driven a car with my feet for 10 years to start using a push/pull hand control and steering with your left hand. Anyway, shortly after I started driving it, Nathan drove it with the foot controls and the accelerator got stuck down. Luckily he managed to control it and pull up in a layby and then turned the engine off. Of course, as a result, I was very reluctant to drive it again. But, I've had to drive it to work and am now getting more used to it.

I am officially a teacher again! I went back to school last week and am contracted to work a Thurs pm and all day Fri. I really enjoyed it but was totally shattered! It was actually very strange for me...going from a relatively fit, active person who could walk unaided when I left to have Ava, to coming back in a wheelchair not be able to teach in the same way I used to. But I coped with driving there and back, and teaching some very successful lessons. It felt like I was getting a little bit of my old life back which felt great. I just need to get back to swimming now!

So, it feels like a new start for us...a new house, new car, back to work, all with our little girl. Wish me luck!

P.S I have my 6th infusion of Tysabri next week. I sometimes feel like I am getting stronger but I can safely say that I am no worse...which is the main thing!

I am still alive...!

Yes, I'm still here, I've just been very naughty and not updated this in a while. It is getting harder and harder to find a spare few mins to update this as Ava doesn't sleep very much in the day and wants constant attention when she is awake! At this very minute she is kicking our sofa to get my attention as I am ignoring her!

We had a great holiday in France...it seems so long ago. Ava was a very good girl on the plane, and everyone was so great getting me on the plane too. I got to drive my scooter pretty much up to the door of the plane and then they took it off me and loaded it straight away. It was a great service (thank you Easyjet)! So if any of you are worrying about going away on a plane, DON'T WORRY! Just pre-warn your travel company and you will be treated like royalty. We had some mixed weather out there but we still managed to get a nice colour. The picture below is of me and Ava on my scooter.

I can't believe it is only 5 weeks until I go back to work. I am only going back for an afternoon and a full day but I haven't taught for over a year...what if I've forgotten how to teach?! I have been lucky enough to get money from Access to Work to pay for a support worker for the whole time I am teaching and they are buying a very expensive lightweight wheelchair for me to use at school. I am really looking forward to going back, although I've been warned, I have a naughty class this year! School have been fantastic about helping me get back to work. I just want to get stuck in now!

For those of you who knew I had a car on the Motability Scheme, I have finally driven it. I got it a few months back and it has been sat on the drive as I was a little nervous to go out in it. Using your hands to drive is so strange and needs a bit of practice. I found the hardest bit was knowing how far to turn the wheel, with just your left hand, to get the turn you wanted to! But once I get a little bit more confidence, I know it is going to be great.

I have now had 4 infusions of Tysabri and think I am feeling the benefits already. There are little things such as typing, lifting my toes up and sometimes my walking that seem to have improved. I am still writing about Tysabri on the MSRC website so if you want to check it out, the link is on a post below

I am sure that someone will tell me if I have missed anything out on this post!

Emma

P.S Just had to put another pic of my beautiful daughter on!